Where my Israelites at?

A well-known fact about college is that, during it, you find yourself. You discover who you are. You become defined by your sorority, your major, your activities, the amount of time you spend at parties or campus crusade. Recently, I've been trying to define myself. And something that I've been learning is that I can't. Not really. I can't mold myself into whatever I want to be.

This sort of began when I started my crazy, dysfunctional, never-ending search for the perfect college. I had always heard "when you step onto the college campus of your college, you'll know. It will just call to you, and you'll feel it. It will fit you. It will be perfect." It took me nearly two years of searching, traveling, screaming, and crying to discover that there is no such thing as the perfect fit. We have to work with what we're given and mold our surroundings into what we need. And what we need isn't always perfection.

To some extent, I can mold myself. I can choose my clothes; I can pick my sorority; I can listen to whatever kind of artsy music fits my fancy; I can read indie books. After I graduate from college, I can go live wherever in the world I want to. But I can't really change who I am. I'm learning not to act like I'm something I'm not.

Because guess what? I am not as "serious" as I think I am. I enjoy listening to Beyonce just as much as I enjoy listening to Bon Iver. I enjoy reading Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants just as much as I enjoy reading Les Miserables. And I enjoy watching A Cinderella Story just as much as I enjoy watching Atonement. Can you say "complex"?? I'm multi-faceted, just like the other 6 billion people on God's green earth.

I'm learning that people can't be put into boxes and colored black or white. It's impossible for people to stay inside the lines. We're molded by the people we know, whether we love or hate them. We're molded by the things we do, good or bad. We are molded by the God we serve, fierce or loving.

And we are always being molded. We're continually changing. We're not statues, standing at attention for all of eternity. We're clay, and we are never completed. Not in this lifetime.

"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD:  'Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.'

 So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel.  But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. 

 Then the word of the LORD came to me. He said, 'Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?' declares the LORD. 'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.'"

Jeremiah 18:1-6

Hey, guess what?

We're Israel.

Senior year art? Best fine arts credit ever received.

Clums.

Let the great world spin forever down the ringing grooves of change.

Obviously, the seven day HP countdown was a no-go. I just couldn't get it together. Needless to say, I loved the movie. Ask me about it, cause it's one of my favorite subjects nowadays. 

I know you're wondering, "What's her excuse this time? Has she been too busy? Has she run out of opinions/musicians/songs/books/movies/events to talk about?" No, cynical blog follower, I have not. I have no excuse. Shame on me. I'm an apathetic blogger. I haven't blogged in almost a month, and my internet popularity (aka blog stats) is suffering because of it. I have seen a steady decline in stats over the past couple weeks, and the only one to blame is myself. 

So, I'm sorry, internet. Perdoname, por favor. 

News in my life: I leave for college two weeks from tomorrow. Crazy with a capital C.

The idea of college is starting to appeal to me more and more. When I picture it in my head, it seems kinda cool. You know, meeting awesome new people every day, learning cool stuff from cool professors, pledging a sorority, discovering who you are. All that jazz. 

I know what all you older, wiser followers are thinking. Oh, you poor, naive little child. 

I know, I know. I have a relatively active imagination and I know from experience that life is so, so rarely how you picture it to be. Actually, I think that it is a valid statement to say that life is never how you picture it to be. 

As displayed by poor Tom Hanson in one of my favorite movies, 500 Days of Summer. Check out how his expectations compare to reality. Not so hot.

http://vimeo.com/9443097

Anyway, I'm warming up to the idea of college. But I still think that I could do with re-living this beautiful summer all over again. Yeah, that would work for me. Or at least slow down these next two weeks to where I can be prepared for college, physically and mentally.

But guess what? "The world spins. We stumble on. It is enough." (Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin.)

Read Let the Great World Spin and then we'll talk about these photographs. And change. And how all of our dreams, our actions, our lives are connected, somehow.

Clums.

C.S. Lewis

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

Think about those words.

Day 1: Book 1.

Alright, so a few alterations need to be made to yesterday's post. Instead of just picking five moments from all of the books, I've decided to pick one moment from each book, so seven moments. One for every day until the premier of Deathly Hallows part II!!

So, Sorcerer's Stone.

I already told you my first encounter with this film: Chelsea McClellan's house, sleepless nights, addictive reading, yadda yadda yadda. But my favorite part...

"'It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible...

After all, it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." Chapter 12

Ooh... chills. It kills me how applicable quotes can be to my life. Seriously, how many of us get so caught up in what we wish to be and forget who we actually are? I know I do. I spend so much of my life daydreaming, and then I get frustrated with myself for not actually putting my dreams into action.

I could've used an Albus Dumbledore as my headmaster in high school. Coach Yancey just didn't cut it for me.

Joyful Harry.

RIP Hedwig.

Hermione Granger: To know her is to love her.

The thriving three themselves.

Stick around for Chamber O' Secrets!

Clumsy Kim.

A blog post in which I whine about the conclusion of the Harry Potter phenomenon.

Ahhhh, Harry Potter love stories. We've all got one. We can all remember the first time we read Sorcerer's Stone, saw Daniel Radcliffe, cried for Harry's sake. We all can.

I can distinctly remember my love affair with Harry Potter. I'm not going to try and compete with you over who loves Harry Potter more or who would score the highest on a trivia quiz. I am, however, going to give you a brief synopsis of what Harry has meant to me.

So. From the beginning. I actually saw Sorcerer's Stone before I read the book. I was in third grade, and I was spending the night at Chelsea McClellan's house. She fell asleep during the movie, but I stayed awake, enthralled by this magical land of "witchcraft and wizardry." I remember that I couldn't sleep that night; I was terrified by Voldemort's bodiless spirit and tortured by what would become of Harry. I've loved Daniel Radcliffe from the start, and I've wanted to be Emma Watson ever since.

I started reading soon after that. It didn't take long for me to become immersed in the wizarding world. I've read every book at least twice, and I know I've read the final two and Goblet of Fire at least three times. The final two books came out in mid-July, smack dab in the middle of my time at camp. I remember sneakily giving my counselors cash (like some sort of sick drug deal) so that they would buy me a copy of the book on their night off.

Harry Potter is so much more than just a "series" to me. I have never read anything that is so enthralling, so intricately developed, as the Harry Potter series. Anyone who says that the series isn't pure literature is lying. It's so much more than just a story. There is so much MEAT in those books. Themes of death, politics, and, my personal favorite, power struggle. Seriously, study that. Make a Venn Diagram comparing Voldemort to Hitler. Message me. We'll talk.

And it's not just the themes that make these books fantastic. These novels are works of art. They are so intricate. If you have followed the books since the beginning, you know what I'm talking about. I mean, there are things that JK Rowling references in her first few books that are seemingly insignificant, and, although they don't really play a major part in the later books, it is so cool to me to think that Rowling was thinking about little details like that from the very beginning. Example: The deluminator that Dumbledore gives to Ron? Yeah, he whips that little baby out in Sorcerer's Stone, first scene in the entire movie. See what I'm talkin about? SO COOL.

So, in honor of the conclusion of Harry Potter, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite HP moments. Five to be exact. Five days, five scenes or quotes.

One of my favorite quotes from the sixth book that didn't make it into the movie:

"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you."

And, since it's the first day, a quick clippy clip:

Come on, you know it's funny every time.

See you tomorrow with some more HP obsession.

Clumsy.

Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you.

I know I've been MIA. I know you were wondering if I was still alive. But here I am now, so fret no more.

It's been a while, but that's not because I haven't had any blog worthy events or opinions or news to share. Because I have. It's because I. have. been. so. so. busy.

I can't remember a summer where my time hasn't been held hostage to countless camps and activities, a summer where I could actually "sleep all day and stay up all night" (anybody catch that Ocean Avenue allusion??). But I wouldn't spend my summers any other way than working with my very best friends at a place called Summer Show-Offs.

My best friends and co-workers. I could write a post on every single one of these amazing people. 

SSO is a camp founded by my mom that "teaches confidence and character through song and dance" (yes, that quote did come directly off the website). It's a show choir camp where every child gets a solo, and it has grown to be one of the biggest summer camps of its kind (also from the website). If you know me, you know that you can't count on me during the summer because, odds are, I'll be with the SSO staff.

When you work at a camp with 200 kids per week, you create ways to keep them entertained and kill time. So this year, my fellow counselors and I took up the art of storytelling. And trust me, it is an art.

A particularly believable story that some of my co-workers told was that I was seriously dating one of the other counselors, John, and that a marriage proposal was not far behind. Of course we took the idea too far just like we always do. We played up our "relationship" the entire week, and the tall tale ended with a proposal in front of the entire camp.

Y'all, kids are so gullible.

We had girls crying, we had kids begging to see my ring (which was really my promise ring... silver with aquamarines that could totes pass as diamonds), we had parents congratulating us... at the rate at which this news is spreading, I'm expecting wedding gifts to begin arriving in the mail next week.

It was a pretty amazing joke, if I do say so myself. I am honestly very proud that we pulled it off because I am generally pretty horrible at jokes. I must be a better actress than I thought, because I have had actual friends that actually know me look to me for reassurance that I am still single. Apparently our "engagement photos" from Facebook are extremely believable.

My "fiancee" and me. Note the strategic placement of my ring finger.

Being "engaged" has gotten me thinking, though. I've caught the bug. It's kind of fun to imagine being with the same person for your entire life. It's fun to think about having children, starting another life with someone that you love unconditionally. Which is something that has always been terrifying to me.

But honestly, I don't really want to be engaged. Right now, at least. That is sooooo far away for me. I've got about ten years worth of things to accomplish before I settle down and get married. As nice as it would be to know who the person that I'll spend the better part of my life with is... As nice as it would be to know what I want to be "when I grow up." To know who I am. To feel secure.

But what about my life is ever planned? What about my life is ever certain? What about anybody's life, for that matter? Because just when we think we've got it figured out, just when we become comfortable is when God pulls the rug out from under our feet and says, "No, no, no, you are not in control here. This is my turf."

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil." Proverbs 1:33

My plans will just have to wait. This agenda is all God's.

Clumz.