Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you.

I know I've been MIA. I know you were wondering if I was still alive. But here I am now, so fret no more.

It's been a while, but that's not because I haven't had any blog worthy events or opinions or news to share. Because I have. It's because I. have. been. so. so. busy.

I can't remember a summer where my time hasn't been held hostage to countless camps and activities, a summer where I could actually "sleep all day and stay up all night" (anybody catch that Ocean Avenue allusion??). But I wouldn't spend my summers any other way than working with my very best friends at a place called Summer Show-Offs.

My best friends and co-workers. I could write a post on every single one of these amazing people. 

SSO is a camp founded by my mom that "teaches confidence and character through song and dance" (yes, that quote did come directly off the website). It's a show choir camp where every child gets a solo, and it has grown to be one of the biggest summer camps of its kind (also from the website). If you know me, you know that you can't count on me during the summer because, odds are, I'll be with the SSO staff.

When you work at a camp with 200 kids per week, you create ways to keep them entertained and kill time. So this year, my fellow counselors and I took up the art of storytelling. And trust me, it is an art.

A particularly believable story that some of my co-workers told was that I was seriously dating one of the other counselors, John, and that a marriage proposal was not far behind. Of course we took the idea too far just like we always do. We played up our "relationship" the entire week, and the tall tale ended with a proposal in front of the entire camp.

Y'all, kids are so gullible.

We had girls crying, we had kids begging to see my ring (which was really my promise ring... silver with aquamarines that could totes pass as diamonds), we had parents congratulating us... at the rate at which this news is spreading, I'm expecting wedding gifts to begin arriving in the mail next week.

It was a pretty amazing joke, if I do say so myself. I am honestly very proud that we pulled it off because I am generally pretty horrible at jokes. I must be a better actress than I thought, because I have had actual friends that actually know me look to me for reassurance that I am still single. Apparently our "engagement photos" from Facebook are extremely believable.

My "fiancee" and me. Note the strategic placement of my ring finger.

Being "engaged" has gotten me thinking, though. I've caught the bug. It's kind of fun to imagine being with the same person for your entire life. It's fun to think about having children, starting another life with someone that you love unconditionally. Which is something that has always been terrifying to me.

But honestly, I don't really want to be engaged. Right now, at least. That is sooooo far away for me. I've got about ten years worth of things to accomplish before I settle down and get married. As nice as it would be to know who the person that I'll spend the better part of my life with is... As nice as it would be to know what I want to be "when I grow up." To know who I am. To feel secure.

But what about my life is ever planned? What about my life is ever certain? What about anybody's life, for that matter? Because just when we think we've got it figured out, just when we become comfortable is when God pulls the rug out from under our feet and says, "No, no, no, you are not in control here. This is my turf."

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil." Proverbs 1:33

My plans will just have to wait. This agenda is all God's.

Clumz.