I said my first goodbye Saturday night. It wasn't this big monumental thing, but it was still emotional, to say the least, and it made me realize that this next week is going to be filled with goodbyes. And it had me questioning my decision to "step out," if you will, and go to a college where I can count the number of people that I know on my fingers. And the ones that I feel comfortable with on about 3. I was literally thinking, "What have I done? I am going to be all alone."
But then I remembered this...
"It is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
"Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, for I have overcome the world." John 16:32-33
"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4
How could I have forgotten? I have all the company I need.
So yes, goodbye's will be hard. Harder than I could have imagined. But the joy of the hello's are going to completely overpower the sorrow of the goodbye's. And on the days when I think that I can't stand to speak another goodbye, God will right there, waiting to greet me with the warmest "hello" possible.
(warning: this is long.)
ReplyDeleteYES! EMOTIONAL BLOGGING THIS THE BEST!!! but literally, it is. When I'm feeling super passionately emotional is when I write my best. Once you go emotional blogging, you never go back. And aside from better writing, I've learned that I grow so much more when I'm vulnerable and honest with people. We are called to boast in our weaknesses, and blogging is a great way to do that! If you put your issues up on your blog, people can pray for them--for you. And if you put them on your blog, you feel less compelled to act like you have it all together in not-intenet, real life. And that's just a way better way to be... so bring on the blogging cheese. and make it juicy. and I'll keep on praying for you.
But aside from all that hullabaloo that I obviously have large opinions about....
Catie Marie, you are going to do so unbelievably great at college. Saying goodbye is one of the worst feelings in the world, I know. Just know that the goodbyes you are saying only apply to proximity. These goodbyes do not apply to your or anyone else's hearts or the ways that they have grown together. In the truest relationships, the ones that are really worth something, it isn't proximation that weaves hearts together; it's love. And you can certainly love people from any distance. Proximation, however, can introduce hearts to love, and you are about to share new proximity with a lot of hearts that need love and a lot of hearts that will love you more than you know.
God has made you beautiful, talented, intelligent, and (in the words of Stephan) etc, etc, etc. State is going to adore you.
God circled Starkville on a map for you and next to it wrote, "Catie Marie will glorify me most right here." And bringing God glory is the only way that we discover the joy of the Lord. There is so much joy waiting on you. God is not holding any of His blessings back. He has blessed you through Briarwood and Birmingham in more ways than you've realized--you'll keep realizing it throughout this school year--but He is not keeping any of His blessings from you by sending you away from them.
He will NEVER leave you or forsake you. He IS with you to the end of the age.
and I promise you, with my whole heart, that He really, really is the only thing we can't live without.
You will always have all that you need.
Love you. :)
PS "Proximation" may or may not be a real word... but I enjoy using it either way.
ReplyDeletePSS okay, i totally checked and it is. close call on the english major's fate.
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Rosie :) You two. What can I say.
ReplyDeleteCM, you will meet so many great people at college. One of the things I actually loved the most about it - once I stopped crying and being homesick - was that I was almost completely anonymous. I got to start over with people who didn't know a thing about me, or my past, or how I was labeled in high school.
It was utterly refreshing.